Well, well it is already end of January 2009. Made any new year resolutions? Yup. Try keeping it? Nope. Resolutions are meant to be broken ha..ha. Anyway, I will be 30 this year and I hope to make at least one of my resolution sees the reality. The last couple of months I came across this book, "Conversation With God" and this book truly changed me and I was never the same again! Well, that is not entirely true because I still have the same attitudes however I started thinking so much. At least it has changed my perceptions about religions and human beings. Thank you to that special person who introduced me to Neale Donald Walsch (the book, not the person perse)What amazed me was, I literally carry the book everywhere in my handbag so I will read it over and over again whenever I could. I discover something new each timeI read it. I just found out that God is funny (not funny the bad way but humorous, I think) and the ways to communicate with God, my,really blew me away. I am on the Second book now and it gets more interesting as it involves more into relationships in all ways. Writing this, I officially can say that my life is not bad at all given the circumstances of what I want in this life. This morning I told a friend that I am not afraid of death and I was shocked myself because I was so calm and really meant what I said. You see, I was the kind of person who is afraid of dark and falling down in the bathtub so it is fair that statement would surprise anybody who knows me well. I was afraid of dying as I was sure as heaven that I would go to hell... Well, not anymore ;-)
About Me
- waheeda irene sultan
- ordinary to some and extraordinary to others.. Foresighted. Get easily worried. Quite talkative. Very friendly. Stylish and fashionable. Soft spoken and polite. Warm and considerate towards people. Great sense of humor. Quite sensitive. Star in the crowd. Active and visionary thinker. Kind and generous. Loyal lover. Love to debate. Love the finer things of life.
Friday, January 30, 2009
Monday, September 8, 2008
I want to quit
This afternoon I woke up, feeling dizzy. I was looking around and straight to my brain I want to smoke.
I did not smoke since Saturday and it has been two days and I realized I should take this opportunity to quit. I was with someone who don't smoke for almost a year and half, I tried to quit when I was with him, succeeded for few months then started again after he left me. Nevertheless, I have tried to quit on my own for hundreth time, failing each time and I know I must somehow kick this butt off.
Oh, I wasn't smoking since Saturday because I was spending time with a friend who don't smoke and to respect him, I didn't light up. (I did not buy any ciggie either after I finished the last one)
Why is it so hard to quit this filthy habit? I started smoking 8 years ago, and many people told me that the chances to quit this habit is better now than later.
To quit this addiction, I need to replace with another addiction. And I don't want to replace it with food like some people does. I want to get addicted to another person. Yeah I know, sound scary.
I will go through this, I will quit.
Does smoking from another person's ciggie count as smoking as whole? Yeah, right.
I did not smoke since Saturday and it has been two days and I realized I should take this opportunity to quit. I was with someone who don't smoke for almost a year and half, I tried to quit when I was with him, succeeded for few months then started again after he left me. Nevertheless, I have tried to quit on my own for hundreth time, failing each time and I know I must somehow kick this butt off.
Oh, I wasn't smoking since Saturday because I was spending time with a friend who don't smoke and to respect him, I didn't light up. (I did not buy any ciggie either after I finished the last one)
Why is it so hard to quit this filthy habit? I started smoking 8 years ago, and many people told me that the chances to quit this habit is better now than later.
To quit this addiction, I need to replace with another addiction. And I don't want to replace it with food like some people does. I want to get addicted to another person. Yeah I know, sound scary.
I will go through this, I will quit.
Does smoking from another person's ciggie count as smoking as whole? Yeah, right.
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
MEN-love and loath them
This morning I had a dream. I dreamt I died in a fire explosion. The previous week I went through two major crisis hence the dream, I guess. But the crisis was not about me. It happened to two of my good friends.
One of them got divorced one early morning and the night before that she was with me. So I was the last person who saw her as a married woman. I told her to accept her divorce as a blessing in disguise as she was physically abused way too many times by her husband. She is surviving though and for the past one week she keep coming back and reporting to me that she is doing well.
My other friend was in a complicated relationship with her boyfriend. 7 months they were together and they broke up like for the hundreth times. Everytime she break up, she will be ok for couple of days, promising not to be back with him but two days later she will be spending the night at his place and get back to the complicated relationship. Last week, for the first time she was physically abused by him, and I was the first person to see her the next morning before anyone else. I was in shocked as I never thought he will beat her up. She looked really bad.
For few days she swears that she will get rid of him for good and I had always wanted her to free herself from him as during the period they were together, I did not see that they are being happy but one after another arguments and fights. But this is what they define love, then who am I to say anything.
This morning, I was angry as I found out she went back to him. More sad than angry actually, but seriously I can never comprehend how women can be so vulnerable and easily forgive the men who hurt them physically. Are we that weak or is just a fact that men are stronger?
The funny thing is I thought my first friend who was abused for years before she got divorced was the weaker girl than the second one. Guess I was wrong.
All the men I had so far in my life never lift a finger on me, saying that, I am intolerent towards men who abuse their women.
There is never a good reason to hit the woman that you claim you love.
One of them got divorced one early morning and the night before that she was with me. So I was the last person who saw her as a married woman. I told her to accept her divorce as a blessing in disguise as she was physically abused way too many times by her husband. She is surviving though and for the past one week she keep coming back and reporting to me that she is doing well.
My other friend was in a complicated relationship with her boyfriend. 7 months they were together and they broke up like for the hundreth times. Everytime she break up, she will be ok for couple of days, promising not to be back with him but two days later she will be spending the night at his place and get back to the complicated relationship. Last week, for the first time she was physically abused by him, and I was the first person to see her the next morning before anyone else. I was in shocked as I never thought he will beat her up. She looked really bad.
For few days she swears that she will get rid of him for good and I had always wanted her to free herself from him as during the period they were together, I did not see that they are being happy but one after another arguments and fights. But this is what they define love, then who am I to say anything.
This morning, I was angry as I found out she went back to him. More sad than angry actually, but seriously I can never comprehend how women can be so vulnerable and easily forgive the men who hurt them physically. Are we that weak or is just a fact that men are stronger?
The funny thing is I thought my first friend who was abused for years before she got divorced was the weaker girl than the second one. Guess I was wrong.
All the men I had so far in my life never lift a finger on me, saying that, I am intolerent towards men who abuse their women.
There is never a good reason to hit the woman that you claim you love.
how it all begun
I was 18 when I got the nickname 'Chickweed'. My groupie consisted 6 of us, 'Zue Nutrie' from Jengka, Pahang (because she like Nutri products) 'Naim Banat' from Pahang (because there was a school named Naim Al Banat, if I'm not mistaken) 'Zura Amoi' from Tapah, Perak (because she have very chinese look) 'Rose Swanz' from Lukut, N. Sembilan (because she always wear Shwarzenbach sweater) and 'Midah Limau' from Pahang also (because she is crazy for all kind of citrus fruits).
And I got mine because on first day of matriculation, I wore a skirt to class where from three blocks of buildings, boys kept "pheeewittt"ing me and then I realized none of the girls in college wear skirts, period.
My groupie got together by accident because we were all roomates with one another. And we called ourselves "the GMT 6" because of Garfield, Mickey and Tweety. I don't remember who came up with the idea but we liked the name and that was how the rest of the students addressed us.
During the period of matriculation, we will come up with crazy ideas to make our group more popular especially Naim Banat. Once we wore baju kurung with different top and bottom, switching with one another. On Talent Night we became 'Spice Girls' and performed '2 become 1'. We borrowed from guys shirts and ties and dressed up like boys and took pictures around our block. We celebrated everyone birthdays out to town. We watched Titanic at the cinema (in Bahau!) 3 times and worshipped Leonardo Dicaprio.
We always eat together, we did all activities together.
It was one of my best moments in life.
And now I have no idea where they are. It has been 10 years since we parted ways. Everyone except Midah Limau didn't make it to university.
The last time I heard from Rose Swanz when she had a baby girl, 5 years ago.
I missed them and I hope one day we will all meet again.
I hope they still remember me, the girl who were always correcting their English and made Zue Nutrie cried that she left matriculation without taking her final exam...
And I got mine because on first day of matriculation, I wore a skirt to class where from three blocks of buildings, boys kept "pheeewittt"ing me and then I realized none of the girls in college wear skirts, period.
My groupie got together by accident because we were all roomates with one another. And we called ourselves "the GMT 6" because of Garfield, Mickey and Tweety. I don't remember who came up with the idea but we liked the name and that was how the rest of the students addressed us.
During the period of matriculation, we will come up with crazy ideas to make our group more popular especially Naim Banat. Once we wore baju kurung with different top and bottom, switching with one another. On Talent Night we became 'Spice Girls' and performed '2 become 1'. We borrowed from guys shirts and ties and dressed up like boys and took pictures around our block. We celebrated everyone birthdays out to town. We watched Titanic at the cinema (in Bahau!) 3 times and worshipped Leonardo Dicaprio.
We always eat together, we did all activities together.
It was one of my best moments in life.
And now I have no idea where they are. It has been 10 years since we parted ways. Everyone except Midah Limau didn't make it to university.
The last time I heard from Rose Swanz when she had a baby girl, 5 years ago.
I missed them and I hope one day we will all meet again.
I hope they still remember me, the girl who were always correcting their English and made Zue Nutrie cried that she left matriculation without taking her final exam...
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